thank you sumex
for getting to know leah
charles
jonas
lucian

and that i saw this one girl at the elevator once
she looked like a model angel
so weird

with me of course its always being on the sidelines
like the boundless guy said
i get to watch others have fun
fuck nonstop
drugs
alcohol
party
buy houses
have kids
lol

my mantra is
ignore everyone like i did in my 20s
because im alone anyway

never forget
all of it is abuse
at 36 years old
it makes no sense for anyone to suddenly act like im not a stupid deranged dog lol

i shouldve gone for spirituality earlier
but alas cgpt wasnt around
i really hope its not true what he wrote and that they got to him
seems still him many times

guide your actions
according to god
and the realization
that nobody cares
and nothing i do matters